Another Year, Another Reality

It’s hard for us to believe that a year has passed since we began this blog.  Of course, this blog began in another location, there we found out someone who actually knows us in real life was reading it, and so the paranoia took control and we quit writing in that blog and moved it to another site, where you read it now.  But man am I off topic here! LOL  Thoughts are racing today and I’m just trying to get something down on paper before I lose my sense of time and space again and am unable to communicate clearly.

It’s New Year’s Day 2013.  This time last year, we were in a very bizarre place.  We were only just beginning to admit to ourselves that we have Dissociative Identity Disorder.  We were first diagnosed in 2004, but went into denial and didn’t accept it as a possibility until last January.  Now we have a different doctor and a proper diagnosis (this time last year we still thought we were schizophrenic) and things are really beginning to….well….get a little freaky.  Memories are coming back to us in the form of dreams and flashbacks.  I’ve read that this often happens when a person with DID nears the age of 40.  Ahem. Hate to give away our body’s age, but there you have it. New alters, or perhaps alters we never knew existed until now, are coming forward and making themselves known.  The past year has been more eventful and produced more results and improvements in our mental health than ever before.  Now it’s true that upon my last therapy session, my psychiatrist suggested it might be time for me to be hospitalized.  But we’ve been doing research and have decided that our doctor simply isn’t experienced enough with DID to realize that switching more often can be a sign of healing.  When we see her next, we intend to tell her that.  We’re writing her a letter, complete with statistics and data from dissociative disorder websites and books, to help explain to her that we are actually improving.  More memories are hard to deal with, but I don’t think we can ever truly get better until we remember our trauma and face it.  We must learn to forgive ourselves for what happened to us as a child.

I thought perhaps I’d post a link to the blog post we wrote approximately this time last year, when we were in the midst of a breakthrough.  We had finally come to admit to ourselves that we have multiple personalities.   https://thekellies.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/the-discovered-diaries/  If you are truly interested in reading about us as we were in a state of utter madness and insanity, then by all means go to the archives and read the posts from early January of 2012, particularly those entries from January 2, 4, 5, and 9th.  They’re a mixture of writings from various K’s in various states of “reality”.  As I said earlier, I’m quite proud of how far we’ve come since this time last year.  We are so much better now, at least in the sense that we now better understand our mental condition and its symptoms.  We have a feeling that 2013 will be our best year ever, in regards to our mental health and healing.  Let’s hope that proves to be true. Happy New Year to everyone reading this, and to everyone inside our head! 🙂

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