A letter came in the mail today. A letter from our psychiatrist. We’re actually afraid of mail, but that’s a different blog post. We were far too scared to actually open the letter, so we gave it to Husband and asked him to open it for us. We were terrified it was going to be a letter saying there was nothing more she could do to help me and she was dropping us as a patient. We have major abandonment issues (obviously). I couldn’t even look at the letter itself. I was just too nervous about what it said.
Turns out it was a letter telling us our next therapy appointment had been rescheduled. It also said that Dr. H had ordered me to go out of town (to the big city!) to have some psychological testing done. Perhaps the results of these psych tests will determine whether or not I am committed to a psychiatric hospital. The good news is that I’m to return to my psychiatrist’s office the following week, on January 7. That means that for now, the hospital stay is put on hold. I’m free until at least January 7.
Talk about pressure. These tests feel so important, so vital to our existence… I’m probably blowing this way out of proportion, but this is what we’re feeling at the moment. We’re feeling pressure. So much so that we called our attorney and asked him about our legal rights regarding hospitalization. According to him. she cannot have me forcibly committed unless I pose a threat to myself or others. He asked me if I was cutting myself or self-injuring in any way, and I said no. He asked me if I was suicidal at all, and I said no. He told me to take my husband with me to my next therapy session, just so I have someone there to back me up and defend me. However, my attorney believes the doctor has no legal grounds for putting me into a hospital against my will.
So this is a good thing. The letter turned out to be a ticket to over a week’s worth of freedom. I was afraid we’d see her Monday and off we’d go, ready or not, to the hospital. So this is a huge relief. A weight has been lifted. But it’s only a temporary reprieve. As of January 3, 2013, we must take tests to determine our level of sanity, or some such nonsense. We’ve had psychological tests done many times before, but for some reason this time we are extremely nervous about it. We’re talking about our future. K can’t go into the hospital at this time; her mother needs her, as well as her husband. Plus, it’s the holidays, a season for joy and happiness and friends and family. There’s no room for a mental hospital in all of this.