Don’t Be Such A Damn Baby

What a fucking cry baby. Jesus Christ, could K be any more pathetic? Now I’m here to tell you that not all of us are so bloody wimpy.  Not all of us are such push-overs.  It’s true that some of us have issues with self-esteem. At least a couple of us have serious self-image problems.  And damn but K worries too much what other people are thinking about her, she cares too much what people say and how they view her.  K is completely obsessed with how she looks, and how she comes across to the public, in every sense of the word-physically, intellectually, personably.  Now like I said before, we’re not all such pitiful creatures. I am NOT a loser.  I am tougher than that. I don’t give a flying fuck what people think about me. I speak my mind, and if someone doesn’t like it, they can kiss my motherfucking ass.  It’s MY life, it’s MY WORLD, and most likely, you are not welcome here.  I don’t trust any of you assholes, you’re all just looking out for yourselves and trying to take advantage of K, who’s overly nice.  God! And she’s so fucking sensitive it just makes me want to vomit.  Sweet and loving and kind-hearted. HA. What a load of bullshit. I don’t have that attitude.  I look out for me. I look out for K, for all of us.  I keep those users at bay.  Some of us get our feelings hurt, but not me. I don’t allow myself to have such feelings. It’s all just a bunch of shit to me. I have none of this emotional drama that surrounds the other K’s.  They absolutely make me want to punch ourself in the the face, and I do sometimes.  A lot of times I just have to slap the shit out of K, to try and knock some sense into her. Yeah, I guess you could say that I abuse her, but it’s for her own damn good.  She’s got to learn to stick up for herself.  She’s got to toughen up, to be a man so to speak.  These wussy, waah-waah’s just need to get the fuck out of our head for awhile.  I need to take charge, to make things right, to try and undo some of the damage that K has done by showing her pale underbelly, her soft spot, to the outside world.  I just hope I can fix this shit.  She’s really made us look bad.  Like a goddamn fool even.  I don’t know what I have to say to you fuckers to convince you that we are NOT like that, we are stronger than that, we can handle ourselves just fine thank you very fucking much.  I can take it.  Say whatever the hell you want, it won’t hurt me. I’m in control of our emotions now, and I say FUCK YOU ALL.  Screw you if you thought you could take advantage of us. K may be sensitive at times, to a fault even, but I am NOT like her.  I am a tough one. I can take your shit.  Bring it on. Show me what you’ve got. I can handle it. I can handle pretty much anything.  Like the physical abuse, I’m the one who took that and absorbed it and to be honest I even got off on the pain.  I enjoy the hurt.  So give it your best shot.  I swear to the fucking gods that you can NOT get to me.  I will never allow it.  I have pills to make me immune to your reality. I have my own reality, and in it K doesn’t cry or worry or wonder about her image.  She’s a tough broad. She’s a fighter. We fought in the hospital when they locked me away.  We fought our abusive ex-husband.  We can fight you all, I fucking dare you to try and tap into my emotional side. You won’t find much there. Anger. Rage. Hate maybe. Boy, K would be really upset to hear that.  She’s convinced she doesn’t have a hateful bone in her body, but she’d be wrong.  We do hate.  It was pounded into our brain years ago and I will not let us forget it.  I remember the bullshit, the pain of the past.  Now I’m not the one who can see into our childhood. I just see our life from about the age of 13, and I know how much they hurt us, taunted us, teased us as a teenager. So I rose up and pushed back.  Got K into a good deal of trouble at times, but I don’t give a shit. We can handle it. I can handle anything you can throw my way, fucker.

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