Look & Listen

Currently hallucinating. Watching the shadows of people in my kitchen move across the floor. Only no one is in my kitchen.  Am simultaneously listening to all the noise coming from the living room…sounds of the cat jumping on furniture and scratching at the carpet. Except the cat is outside. There’s no one in the living room. Shit! Now I’m hearing footsteps…  this is the part where I get scared. Is someone in the house?? Did Hubby forget to lock the back door when he last went out to get a beer? Has someone bad entered my home? Am I going to die?? I’m not finished living yet, in fact I feel like I haven’t even started yet. *sigh*  And here comes the panic attack…I better go take a Xanax before it gets too bad.
                                         
LATER–
Have taken anti-anxiety meds and am just waiting for them to kick in. It still sounds like there is someone in the other room.  Everyone that lives here is asleep, I’m sure of it.  So what the hell is that?!  Heart pounding, chest heaving, sweating, shaking, head feels like it’s going to explode…just your typical panic attack, which always makes me think I’m going to die, literally.  Come on, Xanax…work your magic. I took a full 2 mg bar; I wasn’t playing around with it tonight.

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